Moose Jaw 2005

I don't know why we went to Moose Jaw. You'd have to ask Daorcey. I think we went because we would stay in a swanky hotel with a swanky spa pool, get free tickets to some tunnel tours and gambling money. Wouldn't you go to Moose Jaw for those reasons?

We left early and started our long drive to Moose Jaw. It takes 6-7 hours to get there. We passed through Brooks and Medicine Hat. On the way I took photos of trains. They were honking their horns and I thought it was because I was waving at them. Daorcey spoiled that thought when he pointed to the upcoming train intersection. Stupid safety measures.



We almost ran out of gas. The gas light started flashing and we started looking for a town. We pull into Mortlach. I told Daorcey that I didn't think they had gas because the road sign didn't have the gasoline icon--it only had an Internet icon--but Daorcey still pulls in. Strangely, we see no gas station. Daorcey pokes his head into a restaurant and finds out we need to head 10 minutes east to find a gas station. Turns out, I was right. So don't stop in Mortlach unless you need the Internet.

The gas light is worrying me and I ask Daorcey what the name of the town with the gas is. He paid such good attention all he can recall is that it starts with the letter "E." When we do find a Petro-Canada, the name of the place is Caronport. Good job.

We finally arrive in Moose Jaw and find the Temple Garden Mineral Spa and Hotel. The room isn't ready due to some sprinkler problem. I later found out a girl was getting married and she put her wedding dress on the sprinkler. I guess the dress had a train and she didn't want to get it dirty. Instead she got it wet when she hung it on a sprinkler and triggered it. To make it so much better, it was just before her wedding. And, judging by our walk around town, there aren't many places to get a new dress.

In our room, was a oil painting of the hotel's namesake, a dance hall (Temple Garden Dance Hall). It's a nice touch and a reminder of Moose Jaw's past.

To kill some time, we walk around the hotel, checking out the pool and other places. The hotel was the site of Peter Gzowski's last Morningside broadcast, so a little corner is dedicated to him and his show. Moose Jaw is proud that Gzowski called Moose Jaw "the most Canadian of towns."

Here's Daorcey fondling Gzwoski's mic.



We finally get our room and take a much needed shower. No air conditioning in the car means much sweatiness. I turn on the weather report and it turns out Sunday and Monday it will be 33 and 34, respectively. And, boy was it hot those two days.

Daorcey always reminisces about Bonanza, a place with an amazing salad buffet. It was a big part of his childhood and when I pointed out the restautrant still survived in Moose Jaw, he seemed less enthused. But I made him pose in front of it.



After dinner, we headed to the casino. We were hoping we couild just get our cash and leave and luckily we could. But we decided to put in $10 each and gamble. It was not enjoyable. It was just sitting in front of a computer screen pushing buttons, which I can do in Calgary. Plus many of the patrons were old and white, making us feel out of place. So we took our losses and left with only $10.50.

The next day we did the two tunnel tours: the Al Capone and Chinese one. I really hope Moose Jaw isn't betting on these tunnels to boost their economy. They are at best midly entertaining and at their worse completely false. We did the Chinese one first. This made me feel awkward as my parents are immigrants. An added bonus, the tourguide called us coolies, a racist term meaning poor labourer. So I paid someone to shout racial slurs at me. Fun.

We watched this absolutely horrible video of an Asian actress gushing about the hardships her great grandfather had to endure. To make it worse, they put a stethascope around her neck to connoate her position as a doctor. Yes, because all Asians are doctors. Then we were lead through the laundry areas, the living areas and other rooms. The living area was especially laughable. There was a large table where the men would eat their meals. Carved into this table were names and lillies. However, the names were in English and I highly doubt many men knew enough English to translate their names.

The Al Capone tour was more entertaining but just as false. There is no actual evidence that Capone ever visited Moose Jaw but the tour insists he spent much time there. But the acting was fun and it was very Disneylnad what with doors cutting of our escape and false gunshots.

Reading Will Ferguson's book Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw, I learned that no Chinese ever lived in those tunnels. The Chinese community was appalled that this was being presented as truth. In fact, Moose Jaw was very accepting of the Chinese and these lies smear Moose Jaw's accepting nature. Also, the tunnels people walk through are quite roomy. They can accomodate wheelchairs. But next to the box office building, you can see remnants of the tunnels and those give you a sense of how large the tunnels really were. A few years ago, some priceless heritage buildings burnt down and revealed some old tunnels. And these real tunnels could barely accomodate a child on his hands and knees. I think we were spoiled by Vimy Ridge which had real tunnels and real stories.

To kill some time before our massages, we walked around Moose Jaw. The downtown isn't much to look at but it is better than it was a few years ago. The downtown revitalization was fueled by private money and the old buildings were turned into businesses. There's a few signs documenting a building's old past but not enough of them. What I found interesting in Moose Jaw was the 1950s feel to it like a police sign and the newspaper's outdoor sign. But there is a definite split between downtown and the newer parts filled with big box stores.

Here are the retro signs:




To kill a little more time, we ducked into the casino which also had air conditioning. We put in $5 and walked away with $10. So take that Casino of Moose Jaw! The massages were pretty good and made us feel like yuppies. We took a quick dip in the spa pool and then headed to Regina for dinner.

Again someone would wonder why we would go to Regina. We both have a thing for provincial legislatures. We'd like to see all of them eventually, and Regina was only 45 minutes away. Why, that's a nothing drive! Prior to leaving we made a reservation at an Indian restautrant. We called Tourism Saskatchewan and had to clarify "East" Indian which I found funny. We stopped at this road to take a photo because it seems so Saskatchewan (although I'm sure their tourism offices would hate to hear that).



For some reason, 45 minutes seems like a long time but 30 minutes from the city, we can see it. That's how flat it was. It blew Daorcey away. We had a nice dinner and then tried to find the legislature. The legislature is situated in the middle of a nice park. At this time it was dark but not too dark for some people to go for a walk or play some football.



We walk up the stairs to the entrance and see a couple of people walk out. We started to open the door when those two told us it wasn't open. We stammered we weren't trying to break in but wanted to see it. Luckily, one of the fellows is a tourism guy and gives us lot of advice which doesn't do us much good as were leaving the next day. But we find out the legislature is open at 8 a.m. and is giving tours in honour of Saskatchewan Day. Good enough for us. We also learn a lesson in how the rest of the country sees us.

The tourism dude asks us where we're from and we reply. He laughs and says he can see our money flying out of our pockets. We talk some more and he comments that he's glad to have our Albertan tourism dollars. That was a little weird. It's not like we have a lot of money. We're comfortable but not rich by any means. Daorcey felt really uncomfortable. He feels that everyone else sees Alberta as arrogant and unwilling to share its riches with the rest of the country. Thanks a lot, Ralph Klein.

Our last day in Moose Jaw we have to take a couple of photos. One is the McDonald's that looks like a farm. The silo is the play area and the eating area is the barn. Oh, the irony! It's where the fat kids grow. The second is the giant moose, Mac. He's so huge, Daorcey can barely fit me into the photo.




We take the legislature tour which was pretty cool. The coolest part is the reading room in the library. They have the table where Sir John A. and others discussed confederation. It's missing 6 feet because it had to be cut down to fit into its previous resting spot, which somewhat reduces its majesty. But it's not behind glass so you can touch it. You can feel the scratches and marks. You want to imagine the founding fathers getting drunk on champagne, dreaming of Canada.



After that we hopped into the car and made the long journey back home. Now, I've done long drives in hot weather (Salt Lake City to Calgary) but it was nothing like this. The whole weekend had been hot. We would eventually discover the water we left in the car was scalding. But it was searing, the drive home. The water in our Nalgene bottles was not cool enough to cool us down. The carrots we brought had cooked in the heat and were too mushy to eat. We stopped at the Alberta tourist centre just after the Alberta/Sask border and Daorcey's shirt had white salt stains from the sweat. Gross but indicative of the heat. During the drive, we had seen rain clouds in the distance and even had a spattering of rain but it never cooled it down. Not until two hours from Calgary did the sun start to set and it cooled off.

And that was the end of our trip. Overall, it was fun. Now I can say I've been to Moose Jaw. I wish we had structured our second day better so we could have gone to the Mountie academy/museum in Regina. Regina was way more interesting than some fake tunnels.

For more photos hit up Flickr to see more.