Rockin' with the 'rents

Among the suitcases, plastic recycling, and presents we brought up to Edmonton, we also packed our Xbox 360 and Rock Band.

The parents only started playing because we had dragged all these plastic instruments up from Calgary. We then proceeded to play for 2 HOURS. At best, I thought we would play for 30 minutes and then move onto something else.




Update: I figured there should be a goofy photo of me. Arone and Kristi bought me this monkey hat. I am enjoying it very much.

"I am a black belt in wrapping"

My co-worker was inspired by this:



And thus this happened. We even got people to fill out gift tags. The pranked co-worker left on Wednesday so it gave us some time to wrap. He's back the same day as me in January so I'll be there to record his reaction.



If you want to know why the walls, chair, and desk were not wrapped, send me an e-mail. It's not a super interesting reason but I'd rather say over e-mail.

Not a body in a dumpster

It's kinda nice to have our street in the newspaper not because they found a body.

But recently the snowman has taken an ominous turn as it slowly leans forward and its celery nose droops. And one of the eyes is missing.

It might be just me...

But every time I hear the phrase "Harper wants to prorogue
Parliament," I think Harper just wants to invite all the MPs over to
his house for some good ol' fashioned perogy making.

Am I the only one?

To all those upset about the current political situation:

This. Is. How. Our. System. Works.

If we don't like how it works, we can:

a) Move away
b) Become involved and change the system/the constitution

Upset about the potential policies that might come out of this parliamentary upheaval? Fair enough. 'Tis the nature of democracy.

But we can't be indignant about appearance of a coalition within a minority government environment. Sure, it hasn't happened all to much, but our system allows for it to ensure the representation of the majority.

This is a situation we (and by "we", I mean all those who voted in the last federal election) created. Our votes and the election of our candidates created the government we have now.

You can be upset. But, please, be upset for the right reason.

(There. That was cathartic.)

Apparently, sick kids love Barbie movies

Our Christmas charity for this year is Child's Play. Child's Play is essentially gamers buying video games, books, and toys for children's hospitals around the world. Calgary's hospital finally got on the boat this year so we were very excited to buy them stuff, including Arone's Sonic game. Fine, Bioware's DS game but Arone worked on it.

If you're interested in purchasing something here are some links:

• Calgary's wish list
• Location of other hospitals

If you're keen to buy us a Christmas present (if you were planning to, no pressure) and don't know what to buy, we'd certainly endorse this option.

Turkey Day

Instead of visiting our families for Thanksgiving, we decided to visit James.

One of the highlights of the trip was the delicious turkey dinner James and Christa cooked up. It was delicious. James graciously bought Daorcey a tofurkey and thus a vegetarian was able to participate in the carving of a faux-meat product.

Here are some photos.

Luckily James' cookbook provided instructions to carve a turkey. I think that cookbook helped with every dish James had to cook this fine meal.

No instructions required here.

The carcass. There's no such thing as off the record.

While James and Christa were slaving away in a kitchen, we scampered about Granville Island. We found penguin puppets. Also outside the Emily Carr Institute was an adult-sized seesaw.

It's a Thanksgiving miracle. A picture with Daorcey's eyes open.

Sadly, a real penguin would not be this accommodating.

Don't let the fiberglass exterior fool you. I had to protect Daorcey from this bear.

No thinking required

Being a non-Conservative voter in Calgary means you don't have to think at election time.

Really. The MP could be, say Rob Anders, and they're still elected. I've almost started thinking of my vote not as a vote for an MP but which party best deserves $1.95. As of this moment, each party receives money based on how many votes they collected, although the government might remove that.

Visiting James in Vancouver during the election drove home how lazy us non-Conservative voters are in Calgary. James faced a real dilemma in his riding.

He had two choices:

• Vote for the Green Party candidate, a person who would represent the riding well and represented the Greens' best hope to elect an MP.
  
• Or vote strategically and unenthusiastically for the Liberal candidate to avoid a Conservative majority.

Not much of a choice, in my opinion.

I think the only time I ever faced a real decision was during a university student government election. I voted for the safe candidate instead of who I really wanted. Not only did I deprive myself of giving my vote to someone who I thought deserved to win, but also a really interesting year for the News Editor.

Anyways, here are some non-Harper images we found in Vancouver.



According to Daorcey, the Danny in "Go Danny Go" is a reference to Danny Williams, Newfoundland premier.

A late Obama post

I'm sure you've all seen the now iconic Obama Hope/Progress poster.

I was hoping when we went to Seattle we would see some election material. We spotted the Obama poster at a tiny coffee shop in Seattle. I love that it's beside a Bobby Kennedy poster.

And if you haven't read Newsweek's behind the scenes account of the election, go now. It's ridiculous how much the reporters' were allowed to see and report.

"American money smells funny"

Of all the things we did at PAX, meeting Wil Wheaton was probably the only one that met our expectations.

Watching Next Generation, I did not have a crush on him. So I didn't think I'd be overwhelmed. I really enjoy his blog and he seems normal.

Wil did a book signing the day before his one-man panel (how does one person be a panel? He's kinda awesome that way). I had left Daorcey behind at the Penny Arcade Q&A. As I waited in line I realized Daorcey had no idea where I was and had to leave to find him. Luckily the couple in front of him saved my spot, or so I hoped as I left.

Found Daorcey and found my spot was also saved. I bought Wil's chapbook for the couple who saved my spot as a thank you which Wil said "was sweet."

I'm giving the impression here that I was a smooth operator when I met him and I was not. We go up to him and all I can say is "Hi..." That's it. Just several ellipsises full of silence. Daorcey jumps in and asks Wil about his various books for sale and I think Wil is relieved I'm not going to just stand there and stare at him. When I finally mention I would to purchase a book I blurt out "American money smells funny. Canadian money doesn't smell." I don't think Wil found it too odd but replied that Canadian money smells like good government and health care.

So about for two hours later I berated myself for acting like a dork. Especially since there was a ready made topic to talk about: his velvet painting of Wesley Crusher paid for by one of my favourite authors. But there's always PAX 2009.

What's the message?

It's been a somber day in Canada as many of us observe Remembrance Day on the 90th anniversary of the armistice of the Great War. I was fortunate to have the day off and spent the morning at The Military Museums with 10,000 other people as part of the Remembrance Day ceremonies.

There are a few posts on this blog about past wars and the nature of war today. This fits in with it.

Throughout today's ceremony, I was struck by seemingly central message to the surrounding crowds about the reasons for war: these soldier's died so that we may enjoy freedom, democracy, security, etc.

It's not a particularly surprising message. In fact, I'm sure many of us would say it's something we've heard many times before. "The fought and died for us..."

Now, I'm not intending to be disrespectful toward those who serve in our military, but I just don't buy it. But, why shouldn't I? If this message has been around so long, why doesn't it resonate with me? Not only does it not resonate with me... this message also makes me uncomfortable. I'd say it even rings hollow when I hear it.

Does it bother you?

The communicator in me thinks that the message about the protection of our liberties is an old one meant for a different audience perhaps 30 years ago. It is a message meant for persuading a populace that their military is needed because "the hun" (whoever they may be) is at our door. Any military action at home or abroad is meant to truly protect us from certain destruction.

That just isn't the case any more for today's Canadian citizen. Or, then again, maybe I'm wrong... maybe Canadians are worried that Al Qaeda is just waiting to take over our country... maybe they are concerned that a Taliban-run Afghanistan is a serious threat to our democracy, freedom, existence, etc.

But for me, that just doesn't seem realistic. And so the messages I heard today at the Remembrance Day ceremonies worn... they couldn't hold up to how I see the world and our role in it. Instead, throughout the hour-long ceremony, I found myself silently rephrasing the reasons for war--re-articulating our military raison d'etre.

Military action, for me, is about protecting the human rights of those who are at risk. It is about stopping/preventing genocide. It is about ensuring an international standard of humanity and equality.

I have Romeo Dallaire to thank for that one.

But does anyone else out there see it that way? My government representatives seem confused because their messaging seems to move back and forth. But, as soon as you suggest we have soldiers in Afghanistan to protect my way of life, I get suspicious.

Is it because the protection of other people isn't enough to get a populace to support it's military? Is it easier to gain political points by saying it's about protecting ourselves?

I'd like to think we're more humanistic than that. I'd like to think the protection of human rights (including the right to exist) is more important than that... even if it isn't our own human rights we're protecting.

So, the next time my elected official makes that argument, I'm with them. Until that, I'll just assume they're not speaking to me.

Overheard while playing Fallout 3

"I'm going to eat your arms... when you're dead!"

"... and that's how you get to llama school."

Quick no-car update

We're waiting for the #2 by Crowchild Trail to take us home.
Conclusion: transit is super convenient when you have a planned route
to your destination ( as we had for out trip to visit a friend at the
hospital today), but it's not as great on a Sunday when you're waiting
for that connection that only comes on the half hour.

Fortunately, the weather is nice and we don't have anywhere to be
(except for the post-apocalyptic wastelands is Washington DC).

Still, we're thinking the no-car lifestyle remains doable. Transit is
working, we have only had need of a car a few times, and cabs are
always an option (which we haven't been taking since we might as well
use our car if we have it--something we've only done twice).

I was pleased to find out that a co-worker of mine hasn't had a car for
a few years and she lives in our neighbourhood. Interesting...

Is that the bus I see?

Sent from my iPod

By the power of blogskull!

It seems I have the power to blog on the run with fancy updates via
email. And, now that I have the power of the iPod touch, I can do it
anywhere there's wifi. Cool, eh?

The only assumption is that I'll have something to say.

I get paid to write, yet...

The curry is cooking and Natalie is on song three of a six song "hard" challenge on Rock Band 2. She's rather pleased with her mad skillz...

I have a Facebook account and a MySpace account and I'm beginning to think I could really care less about them. I really don't have the time or energy to devote to them. Nor do I particularly care to do so.

But it's funny that nearly every other day, I lament the fact that I have seriously neglected the blog. I has been more than a few times when I mention that I miss the old days when I was inspired to write a couple of times a week. And it's not that I don't have anything more to say, it's just that I seem to be that much busier writing material for which I get paid. I think there's some irony in there somewhere...

I miss the blog.

I miss expressing myself in random ways. I miss spending two hours thinking of the most effective way to share a certain thought whether it be humourous, serious or banal. I miss conversations via comments.

Through work, I hear about the evolution of the webz and that what was in just a few years ago (say, around the time of our wedding) is moving on. I should be twittering, not devoting thought to a long and boring post. And that trend makes me wonder if this is what it's like for me to get old... Am I yearning for a comfortable medium when I should be switching it up and running with the pack? Am I about to start yelling at the kids to get off my lawn while I plug away at a blog post about yesterday's news? Sigh... the things that concern me...

I'll get over it soon enough. And I'm hoping it'll mean I'll be back to DarNat more often. I mean, I have thoughts and stories and useless information to share. And there's this whole thing about not driving, which is into it's third month. There's news to be shared with the... zero people who check this little space of the online world.

You know, once I had google analytics on this site and I was so enthralled that we had readers in China, Australia and Texas.... ah, how things have changed.

This has been cathartic. See you again soon... after Natalie and I play some more Fallout 3.

PAX: Something like this

Geeks like to line up. Movies, games, Wil Wheaton book signings. We shouldn't have been surprised, but to have an entire room devoted to a line up seems excessive. It wasn't. They actually needed that room to accommodate the lines that formed for game demos, the keynote, and the Q&A with the Penny Arcade creators .

Welcome to PAX. This was the LINE UP ROOM.

PAX is the Penny Arcade Expo.

(Editor's Note: for those who haven't chatted to us in a while, this is how we spent our one vacation of the year... at PAX... in Seattle... playing games... with 40,000 other people...)

Ahem. PAX: The creators of the webcomic Penny Arcade thought it would be awesome to have a place where gamers could come together and do gamer things. However, PAX is way more than just video games. There are panels (eg: advertising versus PR - Daorcey was keen on that one); tournaments based on video games, card games (like Magic), and tabletop miniatures; free nighttime concerts featuring nerdcore artists like the Freezepops and Jonathan Coulton; playable demos in the exhibition hall. It's also a place where you can flop down on a giant bean bag, break out your DS, and play a game.

Something odd about the creators is that many people only know them as their comic characters: Tycho and Gabe. And they seem perfectly fine with people using their real names and comic names interchangeably. (Editor: this was something I learned at the first day's Q & A in a theatre that was filled with at least a few thousand people.)

Shockingly, I thought the level of cosplay would be much higher as such a festival of nerdocity but it was kept to a very sane level. Still, the costumes present were cool like the Prince from Katamari Damacy (below). Let me explain the game (Katamari) although it might hurt your brain. It might also help to explain it is Japanese. The Prince's father the King destroyed all the planets in the cosmos (Editor: "destroyed" in what can best be explained as eventful night of partying) except Earth, and it is the Prince's job to gather enough items from Earth to replace them. He does this by rolling a giant sticky ball in mundane places like a house or backyard and then eventually graduates to rolling up skyscrapers, continents, and giant Godzillae. I really love this game.

Naa, na, na, na, na...

We also had three days in Seattle which did not involve nerdage. The public market was an awesome source of snack food, coffee, and fish throwing. The flying fish did not disappoint although it must be hard to run a bakery near the pungent seafood. Also during the three days of the convention, you could tell who was a nerd and who wasn't. Typically, nerds traveled in packs of two to four, maybe with one female, and nerd shirts (Editor: if you're confused about what a nerd shirt is, see Natalie's wardrobe) were always involved. It was a fun game to pick them out.

Is this sign famous? We kept seeing postcards of it everywhere.

We did an underground tour that chronicled a bizarre time in Seattle history. The founders of Seattle thought it would be awesome to build on a flood plain. It wasn't. When toilets were installed, owners had to be aware of the crapper geysers that would happen when the tide rolled in. Luckily, a fire came along and wiped out most of Seattle that sat on the tide plain. The business owners immediately started building, but the city said: hey, let's build the city up 30 feet and then start rebuilding. The businesses ignored the city planners and were in for a big surprise when the city came along and started building 30-foot walls on either side of the existing roads. Then the city began to take dirt from the hills higher up and rubble from the fire and throwing it into the middle of the walls to fill them up and make 30-foot high roads. To get around, people would climb up on a ladder, cross the street, and then climb down another ladder. Two years later, it was deemed unsafe as people and horses randomly fell into the sidewalks 30 feet down. The city covered over the sidewalks and the underground was born. (Editor: and now we tour it... thanks, James, for coming to visit and tour with us!)

Two fun facts:
1. Because the city did a horrible job of filling in the roads, the roads are still settling.
2. I'm not sure Seattle demolished most of the hills around it to get dirt to fill in the roads. The city is still hilly.

Although this now takes us back to PAX, I think this picture speaks for itself:

Event of interest from PAX: Us waiting to see Wil Wheaton speak. He was probably the highlight of the entire convention. We waited two hours to see him speak... so I guess I'd better explain: The previous day we had waited 1.5 hours to see the Fallout 3 demo. Part of it was excitement to see the game but also to participate in a demo with a large crowd. Unbeknownst to us, and many others in the LINE UP ROOM, the viewing theatre had filled up way before we joined the line, so we had wasted our time (ie: 1.5 hrs). Learning our lesson, the next day we lined up 2 hours early for Wheaton's panel and were rewarded with second row seats. He was brilliant, funny, and way more than Wesley (Editor: Crusher). There will be another post where I detail meeting Wil.

This picture of us at the Wil Wheaton session also looks like another picture... oh yeah:

Here's Wil. He's a lot more animated but this was the only good photo I could find. Everything else was blurry because he was bopping around stage.

And I also made a new friend.

I call him Metally.

After our first day of PAX, we were greeted by these musicmakers. (Editor: OMG, this post is totally NOT in chronological order.) They are making music with the old school GameBoys and the sounds from the games. It was awesome.


We're thinking of going back next year but we're also thinking about a biking trip through Belgium. We'll have to give this some more consideration. But, a week away to go to a gaming conference and shop in Seattle (Editor: and chill at a fantastic downtown hotel courtesy of a PAX discount) was really enjoyable. I guess we'll see.

And that was PAX.

Walkening: The Update

So far there have only been two times we wanted to use the car and one time where we did.

Time #1 August 1
We saw Jeff's fringe play and this time the walking was a bit more extensive. We had dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant and walked to Inglewood.

Walking time: 25 minutes
Driving time: 6 minutes

Plus we saved on parking, so let's say $5. The walk there was fine as we saw the new Stampede Casino, walked by Elbow River, and saw the remains of an old maternity hospital. The play was excellent.

Now getting home we expected to be a bit tricky. We could get a ride home or walk. As we are old and married, we went home early and walked to the City Hall train station with Ben. The path to the train station would takes us past the areas where the homeless bed down for the night but Ben reassured us they were all sleeping. I wasn't worried about being attacked but more about the long walk.

But nothing happened and we caught a shuttle bus as the C-Train is down for some maintenance.

Time #2: August 17
Nicole was back in town for her sister's wedding. Day before she left for Las Vegas, we met up at Tim Hortons in Avenida. I think this was the only time I've wanted to take the car. We didn't leave the house until 8:30 p.m. And it being a Sunday night the trains ran infrequently and we didn't arrive until 9:30., Then the Tim's kicks us out because the close at 10 p.m. Apparently, this Tim's was no longer 24 hours. Also, Nicole was severely annoyed that the teenaged employees joyfully tossed the food into the garbage when we bought very similar food 10 minutes ago.

Luckily the Boston Pizza next door was open and we had surprisingly lovely spinach and artichoke dip. Unluckily, we were catching a train at 11 p.m. and it was a Sunday night and they run... as frequently as C-Trains on a Sunday night. Needless to say, we were tired Monday morning.

And the time we used the car
Went up to Edmonton Fringe on Aug. 16. We tracked our mileage but due to work schedules we haven't had time to figure out our cost. But it didn't help our costs that we stayed with Daorcey's parents who live 30 minutes outside of the city and had to pay for parking. Next year, and we always say this at the end of Fringe, we'll stay in the city and make a long weekend of it.

Conclusions:
Taking the C-Train is fine when:
- it is not under maintenance
- it is not Sunday night

It's going to be a month Friday and I don't think we've seen people less or done less. In fact, the thing that may keep us inside is the release of Force Unleashed. But there's only been one time where I wanted to use the car so that's pretty good.

Day 1: Tonight we meet at Al's!

Aug 29: Day 1

My pal Al was in town and this was my first chance to put no-car transit to the test. Al lives down south and it is usually a 30 minute drive. I biked to the 8 St. C-Train stop, hopped on the train, and got off at Shawnessy; pretty much cake. I had a couple of technical issues with the bike when I got off. The kickstand was in the way of the pedal and the back wheel wouldn't go backwards. However, it was solved by wrenching the kickstand into place and moving my back fender.

My next challenge was negotiating Macleod Trail/162 Ave. It's not great in a car and on a bike it wasn't as bad as I predicted. The trick was just catching the crosswalk lights to so I'm not cooling my heels as cars endlessly turn. And I cheated by riding on the sidewalk. There was no way I was getting mowed down by a truck. Once I got to the intersection Sun Valley Blvd. and Sunmills Drive, I hopped onto the road and made my way to Al's down Sun Valley Blvd. Then I had a lovely time chatting with Al.

Driving distance: 19.3 km (according to Google Maps)
Driving time: 30 minutes

Biking time (including C-Train): ~45 minutes. I didn't pay attention on my way to Al's but the return trip was about that.

Observations:
-Sun Valley Blvd has subtle hills and valleys. Something you don't notice coasting in a car and makes it challenging to sustain. When you bike downtown, you're catching stoplights constantly so you always have time to pause. I think I'm about to see that everywhere.

-Elevation kits for trucks have their place... somewhere, but not in the city. On the Canyon Meadows/Macleod Trail overpass, I spotted from the train a truck that was easily the height of two sedans. At first I thought it was on top of another truck but then I noticed the gigantic wheels. It easily dwarfed another truck in front of it and that truck was not small.

-Very few pedestrians out in the 'burbs but a couple of bikers. I think that Superstore/Safeway/Co-op/Home Depot area, "a power centre" is about as pedestrian-unfriendly as you can get. It's featured quite negatively in Radiant City.

The Experiment

If anyone could make it in Calgary without a car, it should be us.

Background: We live downtown, seven blocks from the C-Train, eight blocks from Daorcey's work, and four blocks from the Safeway. Obviously, we use our car very little. The last time we filled up was three weeks ago... in Nanton. And the last time I drove was to Anna's in Signal Hill. But the tank is half full and it doesn't look like we'll fill it anytime soon.

Experiment: To forgo the use of our personal motorized vehicle for two months, starting July 29. Yeah, it's arbitrary.

So can we be free of car ownership and what are the associated costs?

Benefits:
-Savings in insurance, maintenance, and gas. We'll have another post that outlines savings and expenses.
-More physical activity.
-Reduced environmental impact.

Challenges:
-How to attend our evening activities outside of the downtown core? Daorcey teaches an evening class in Killarney and I might start up floor hockey again.
-Poor weather. Our experiment doesn't encompass a true Canadian winter.

Unknowns:
-How do we define "success" and what happens if we do determine this is a success? Do we sell the car and rent our parking spot?
-If we had a kid, how would we get Junior around? What if Junior played soccer or did extracirricular activities? I don't think we would be considering this if we had a Junior.

The Rules (so far):
-No car (This is Daorcey's contribution).
-We'll try to track the distance to the destination by car and our method (bike, walking, transit). Time to make the trip will also be recorded.
-We'll also track our transit costs like bus tickets for Daorcey and taxi cabs. My transit pass will not be included because I would buy one regardless if we had a car.
-In the event we need to use our car, we'll track our car usage as if it were a car-share car. So distance, cost per hour, insurance, etc. -When taking longer trips that would require a rental car, use our car but calculate the exact price for a rental. Look for this when we hit up the Edmonton Fringe Festival.
-Keep the ride mooching to a minimum. This isn't an experiment to discover how many friends we can lose. Besides, very few friends have cars.

Why are we so crazy: I bought a bike and then Daorcey started whining about how he wanted to ride too. Then, at folk fest (so I guess the hippies are at fault), I proposed getting rid of our car. Today, I couldn't remember the last time we put gas in the tank and Daorcey had to refer to his credit card bill. Obviously, we're not using the car that much. So what would it take to eliminate the car completely and is it cheaper?

We promise we won't get all preachy about how environmentally decadent your pollution wagons are. Sometimes you need a car. How else do will we get Rock Band 2 home?

Fringe 2008: Shameless Plugs

Let's start in chronological order... from there, who knows where we'll go?


Do you know Jeff Kubik? If you don't, you should... or, at least, you soon will. Fresh from his first year of the playwrights program at Montreal's Concordia University, Jeff has already seen two of his comedic works produced this summer (Unsolicited Mail at Edmonton’s NextFest and Die, Mrs. Veenstra, Because You Are Old at Calgary’s Ignite! Festival).

Next stop: Use Me: An Undead Musical at Calgary's evolving Fringe Festival, running from August 1 to 9. Check out the website--it's got photos and music clips too.

I'm stoked. Music, the undead, romance... how cool is that? I've been fortunate to have been a small part of this project by playing the role of PR/marketing strategy and support, which seems to be paying off with a TV spot, CBC radio exposure and a couple of previews (so far). As part of my involvement, I've had the chance to read the script, visit a couple of rehearsals and be involved in discussing the show as it evolves. From what I've seen, heard and chatted about, I'm looking forward to the show. Our plan is to go opening night.

Go to the Calgary Fringe website to get tickets. (Don't worry if they say it's sold out... 15 per cent of tickets are sold at the door.)


Next up: from the people who brought you one of the best and critically acclaimed shows of Edmonton's 2006 International Fringe Festival is the original show: Occupied by Arone Le Bray (otherwise affectionately known as my taller, younger brother).

Here's the blurb from Basic Acid Theatre's website:

Public washrooms are a necessary evil. They're smelly, kinda drab, always dirty, and the people inside them are complete and total strangers. But we use them every day. Everyone does, from the high-powered lawyer on her way to a business meeting, all the way down to the penniless homeless man, covered in filth. "Occupied" is a snapshot of the downtown LRT washroom on any typical weekday morning, and asks the question that has plagued mankind for centuries: out of margarine and cream cheese, which is the healthier bagel topping?

While I haven't been as involved (i.e.: at all) with this as the show, I'm equally stoked about this one. Arone has always been a solid writer and creative story-teller and I'm excited to see what he's cooked up with Occupied. Likewise, his production partners (Patrick Pilarski and Joel Bazin) are ridiculously talented and both friends from high school. (I might even be so crass as to say they were my friends first before Arone decided to become grand usurper.

So, if you're in Edmonton between Thursday, August 14 and Saturday, August 23, go see this show. You can only get your tickets online at Edmonton International Fringe Festival. We already have our tickets (along with tix for the parents and grandparents... we're assured from Arone that there will be no nudity this time) for Saturday 16 at 8:15 pm.

Dear Stampede, you suck.

Bad news: I need to reschedule my physio appointment.
Good news: Back onto the bike, baby.

The therapist called and said due to a schedule mix-up he had to move my appointment. This same conversation gave me an opportunity to ask if I can ride again. And as long as we don't "huck a jump" I'm good to go. This is very good as my new bike's been taunting me every time I open our balcony doors.

About the only good thing about this elbow was I achieved 100% completion in GTA. Had I been able bodied this would have been very sad but, really, with a busted elbow there's very little you can do.

Also, I made it through a long weekend without visiting a hospital. I may have cheated slightly by staying inside but, you take what you can get.

To make up for this, we drove to Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump last weekend. I had gone there as a kid (and I fondly remember the HSIBJ poster that graced my bedroom walls) but Daorcey, living so far north, never went. It's a small museum and it's really too bad that you can't hike above the cliff but it's still neat to see. When you see the actual cliff, the drop doesn't look that great until you read the sign that states the height has decreased because of the buffalo bone accumulation.

We also had lunch in Fort Macleod. I don't know if all small towns are this desolate but there was nobody walking the streets. It might have been the heat, it might have been Stampede, but nobody was out and about.

Ah, lunch. Daorcey has this bizarre fascination for pointing out Western/Chinese restuarants in small towns and suggesting we eat there. I, on the other hand, was strongly advised never to eat in Western/Chinese restaurants when family road trips took us through small towns. I had a BLT and Daorcey had some vaguely curry fried noodle thing. Both were decent but I felt uneasy. Like I had gone swimming after eating and not waiting an hour.

Last, about the only thing good about Stampede, beside fireworks, is that the papers get a chance to post this photo. You know what I'm talking about.

It's more of a Veebow

It's been two weeks since the accident and I'm finally rid of the splint. I've also started physio. I'm not able to straighten my elbow 180. It's more 150 degrees. It also gives the illusion my arms are different lengths.

Speaking of bizarre elbows, some of you may know about my hypermobile elbows. They bend past 180 and have the power of freaking people out. Why, I don't know. The therapist says my hypermobility is probably why I dislocated my elbow instead of breaking a bone.

Arone and Kristi are on their way down from Edmonton. Tomorrow we may see a cute baby elephant. And congrats to Alan and Megan for their new baby, Elinor.

Long weekend? How about the hospital?

I am typing this post one handed.

I've been on a real biking kick lately and I usually ride 2 to 3 times a week with Tony. Jeff has moved back to town and we've added him to the mix.

Thursday, we're going to meet Jeff at the Bridgeland LRT. I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself since my biking ensemble is appropriate for the weather. Usually I'm over dressed or under dressed, but the long sleeved shirt, windbreaker and shorts are working great.

Tony says we should take 1 St. which passes under the railroad; downhill one side and up the other. He's been really good at slowly easing me into traffic and I wasn't worried. We start our descent when Tony notices there's traffic and it's not pleasant to get stuck at the bottom and slows down to ride on the sidewalk. I, however do not notice and our tires rub.

I'm not sure what happened but I fall over. In a bid to fight the inevitable I stick my left arm out behind me and land right on it. I shout "Tony!" and thankfully he hears me over traffic and a very nice passer-by helps me off the street.

I'm in no condition to walk and looking at my elbow there are definitely lumps where there shouldn't be. Tony calls an ambulance and we sit in front of Bill's. I really am thirsty at this point; it really sucked sitting in front of Bill's. I'm feeling light-headed although it could be the car exhaust.

Ambulance arrives and they hustle me in. They take some vitals and offer me hits of NO (laughing gas) to dull the pain. It doesn't work great but it was fun to huff on it. And my shirt! They had to cut the sleeve so now I have a nice-sort-sleeved shirt once I get the other sleeve to match.

We go to the Sheldon Chumir Centre which just opened. It's a lot nicer than their former digs at 8&8. Go through the processing and am left to wait. The only person of interest to look at is a prisoner in full leg and arm chains, white booties, and two cops.

Go to X-rays where I start crying like a baby because it hurts so much to move it. X-rays are done but the radiologist never offered me a lead shield. I'm hoping future babies have cool mutant powers.

The orthopedic consult on duty tells me I've dislocated my lower two bones but they'll try to fix it. I then question their use of the word "try". Another doctor comes in and introduces herself as Dr. Tran and I snicker a little. The docs prep me with some drugs that will sedate me and make me forget. They also gave instructions to Daorcey as he was waiting outside of the room. I may cry out for help but don't come in. Daorcey also reports hearing a snap and then giggles. I can neither confirm nor deny.

I come to and their "try" did not work so I'm whisked off to the Rockyview Hospital which we learned has a special nickname among the medical community. Just before I pass out again from the sedation, I apparently said "Now my fucking husband gets to ride the new bike." That scandalized people who routinely deal with other people's poo. I discover one of the doctors pulling on my arm also helped me out when I sprained my ankle. I promise not to see her again.

After, we head to Humptys where I eat the best BLT evar.

The arm is not sore now and I get the danged soft cast off tomorrow. I start physio on Friday with the same guy who helped me out with my ankle. On the upside we missed the mudslide in Golden and we played a ton of GTA. And my co-worker made me a great card that incorporated Comic Sans and a pink Hello Kitty bike.

I think for the July long weekend, I'll stay inside.

I have my X-ray a few lines below, if you're curious. The autograph at the bottom is from my ortho consult. He said it would be worth more with it.

Meet the newest member of our family

And no, its name is not Bikey.

I had a bike left behind by Meru's old roommate, and I've been tooddling around on it. My eventual goal is to ride to work so the beater wasn't going to do. It's a performance hybrid ie mountain bike frame and road tires.

Check the stats out here.

Now to find those fluorescent click-clack things that go on your spokes.

That's as exciting as...

Not sure how to describe the simile in play here. Free free to comment on what you see.
(Thanks to Crap and Arone)

Did I ever tell you the time I won $3000?

It was the summer of 2002 and I was working at a crap phone surveying company. At the orientation, the team leader told us proudly this was their first non-jail call centre. After I heard that, it was hard to shake the idea a prisoner in Bowden was doing a better job than me.

I worked the 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. shift. After negotiating the train from downtown to the bus home, I was usually home around 10:30 p.m. I’d check e-mails, look for better jobs, watch Star Trek: Voyager, and play Diablo II. I was depressed that my job was so awful. I had had high hopes, applying to the City. I needed the money as I was applying to study abroad in China in the new year.

At the same time I was using a website to gather intel on potential scholarships. You’d fill in the info fields and the website would spit out a list of scholarship you could apply for and not win. I was hating my job, hating the university, and doubting I could scrape up enough dough to get to the motherland.

Then this survey from the scholarship site drops into my inbox. It was a survey about universities and it encouraged us to rate our university. In exchange they would reward $3000 to the lucky winner. I wasn’t very kind to the U of C on my entry. I pressed send and forgot about it.

A couple weeks later, I received an e-mail from that site stating I had won $3000 and all I needed to do to collect my cash was send my name and address. Of course I was suspicious and e-mailed back how could I know they were legitimate. They sent their address in Toronto. What good that would do me in Calgary, I don’t know. You can insert your Nigerian e-mail scam joke here. My mom said not to answer back but it was hard to turn it down. However, I had a friend living in Toronto where the website office was located. I sent him the address and a couple days later, he was standing in front of the office. He went in, asked if they were said company and if I was really a winner. I think they reassured him and he sent an e-mail to me confirming their legitimacy.

I quickly e-mailed them back, got my $3000 cheque in my mitts. And then I got a job at the City which paid $13/hr which allowed me to save up for the trip. With the cheque and new job, I was able to pay my way to China without asking the folks for a dime.

As for GTA, it's slow going. This is the first time Daorcey and I have tried to play a long video game as "adults" ie with real jobs. Inevitably, one of us is never home in the evening due to working out, biking, or meetings. And if we are both home, we only get one or two hours in because there's stuff to do. Did you know that entropy is a fact? I can't imagine trying to play this game and having a family. I'm not complaining but it marks a sure difference from the last game where we had marathon sessions and we weren't living together. Cue "I'm an adult now".

Silent running

Quick ankle update: I am done with the physio and now I can concentrate on practicing sprinting. And I can definitely play floor hockey in 3 weeks. My therapist said that it's healed up nicely and I'm glad, obviously. People were telling me it would be weeks and weeks before I was able to do anything.

Most of you know that we like video games. A lot. So it will be of no surprise when I say there will be no new posts as of April 29. I don't know when we'll resume posting but spring's coming, so shouldn't you be outside?

Oh, and here's the reason: GTA IV.

In the meantime, here are some places you can visit in lieu of reading DarNat.

• I Can Has Cheezburger
• Boing Boing
• Cute Overload
• io9, a great sci-fi/science site
• Slate
• Television Without Pity

See you in a couple of months!

Dear naked man in the gym change room:

There are a few things I know:

• It's great that you value a healthy lifestyle that includes exercise
• It's awesome that you think that value should begin at a young age
• It's nice that you bring your 2-year-old daughter for mid-day swim at the gym
• There's no way on this earth that you can make me comfortable changing in front of naked you and your 2-year-old daughter

I mean, honestly, that's not cool. Maybe I have issues with our natural bodies and society's irrational taboos with nudity... when you are in the process of changing and your daughter is sitting on the bench right in front of my locker, I can't bring myself to wedge myself around you, reach for my clothing and start changing myself.

Am I the only one that finds the prospect of that a little "off"?

So, do you know what you forced me to do instead? I tried to busy myself in the change room by washing my hands a couple of times and then casually chilling in a far corner of the change room away from you. And when I realized that simply hanging out amidst the lockers was a tad creepy, I decided I'd suck it up and leave the change room to sit outside in my sweaty gym clothes and casually read through the spring fitness schedule like that's something everyone does instead of changing into their street clothes after a workout.

As I was walking out, I did consider possibly sucking it up and going to my locker since you must be close to being ready to go by now... but now you're daughter is naked too as you're changing her diaper or something. Yeah, no way I can change now.

So, I read through the spring schedule in the lobby of the fitness centre like anyone would as they wait for naked father and child to move away from their locker. Eventually, you left, but it seemed like I'd really exhausted the contents of the schedule before you finished up...

And you know what? After this whole ordeal, I'm the one who feels awkward and embarrassed. How is that? Maybe I should find another locker space or something.

Have a good weekend.

My purple ankle

So, if you've been wondering (and I can't imagine you have been), here's what my ankle looks like.


The swelling has gone down a lot so I now possess an ankle and calf. Also, the physiotherapist said I no longer require crutches.

Photos courtesty Anna

Some stereotypes are true...

I hate proving some stereotypes true but...

• Daorcey doing his own taxes results in $3,000 owed to the government.
• Natalie doing Daorcey's taxes results in $3,000 refunded from the government.

Because of Daorcey's* sheer incompetence with income taxes, I had to do his taxes in addition to mine. So when you do your taxes, don't forget to include the taxes you've already paid to the government.

*This is also the person who passed an income tax course in university.

Lame update

I saw the doctor today and have learned the following

• I injured the ligaments/tendons on both sides of my ankle which would explain the bruising on either side. This is bad but it doesn't hurt.
  
• I can start physio on Thursday and perhaps even start walking with the help of an Aircast.
• I can't play any sports for a month at least.

This was a very info-heavy, post so I'll direct your attention to this link which I'm sure everyone has seen.

I couldn't resist the pun.

Floor hockey: I'm doing it wrong

I am the proud owner of a cankle (where the calf and ankle have merged) on my right leg. I sprained my ankle playing floor hockey and my ankle has swollen in retaliation.

I'm not sure what happened all I know is I could feel or visualize my ankle rolling inwards on me and it was almost a 90 degree ankle angle. Then I'm flat on my back in incredible pain.

A trip to 8th and 8th reveals that they would like to treat me but since there's no X-ray machine there's no way to confirm that it's not broken. I interjected it didn't hurt that much but the nurse said when she broke her ankle, she was walking around on it for a day. And the nurse was very insistent to say that they could treat me and they were not turning me away, but without X-rays to confirm, the clinic would eventually send me to Rockyview Hospital.

To the Rockyview and after three hours, one X-ray, and a pair of crutches we're on our way home at 2:30 a.m.

So I skipped work on Thursday, and since I'd been at training the past three days at Mount Royal College, and Friday was a holiday, I haven't been to work since. And I can't say I've missed it.

Basically, I'm just hobbling around asking Daorcey for help getting stuff and food. Although if you ask Daorcey he'll say nothing's changed, har har.

For the next piece of news, you need to know we're going to PAX, a video game expo in Seattle and Wil Wheaton (yes, that Wil Wheaton) is going to be there! Nerd up and roll out.

Fatty wins!

There's this picture of me the circulated around the office a couple months back. It was my face pasted on a running Forest Gump. The implicit title: Run, Fatty, Run.

You see, I love food... and eating. And so it didn't take long for me to get a reputation at my office for being the first person to the coffee room should free food be announced. Because of things such as this (along with the source of the problem: my love of eating), I started going to the gym last year.

My gym is a block off of crack alley--where we use to live. It's a part of town that homeless people have told me they steer clear of because it's not safe.

I remember that we were once walking to the gym at 6:45pm on a Tuesday to come upon the aftermath of a drive-by shooting. We'd just missed the action by 5 minutes. It's a very classy street.

Anyway...

A year or so ago, I got it in my head that if I was to continue enjoying food the way I want to I was going to have to do two things: portion control (I'm working on it) and regular exercise (it's coming along).

So, I went down the the gym and bought a month pass, calculating in my head that if I was to get my money's worth (ie: make each visit cost less than a single visit price) I'd have to be at the gym four times a week. No problem.

Day One: Aquasize

Let's start with something easy. Sure, this some may say this is exercise for elderly, overweight women, but I'm at least one of the three, so it shouldn't be weird. I convinced Natalie to also come along (she is also one of the three).

So, suited up and sucking in my gut, we arrive at the pool. We are quickly identified as the newcomers as we join a group of nice older ladies preparing for their workout. I struggle to put on a flotation device. Out comes our instructor/lifeguard and that's when things become surprising.

In retrospect, I think we had our asses handed to us by aquasize. I've never sweat so much in a pool. I was huffing like an asthmatic. I cramped up in the middle of things. I don't think I ever did figure out the proper underwater movements. I swallowed a lot of that sweaty water.

Natalie and I have never been back to aquasize.

Day Two: Weight Room

Ok, I can leave Natalie at home for this one. I can handle wandering around a weight room on my own for a while.

I get to the gym and change into my gym outfit of cargo shorts and heavy t-shirt (I've paid money to be here, I'm not about to buy a whole now wardrobe!). As I arrive in the weight room, I realize that I may have underestimated the my own insecurities. There seem to be so many people here who know what they're doing... I have to appear confident.

So, I confidently avoid the weight machines. There's no way I'm going up to one of those machines, staring at it for a couple minutes as I figure out how it works and then reaching to move the pin from 20 pounds to 3. Plus, there seems to be a scary short man lifting 200 pounds with his forehead in the corner.

Instead, I confidently move toward the cardio equipment. Specifically: the stair machine. Now this is something I can use. I know how stairs work, I have them at home. So I grab both arm rests and hop up onto the "stairs".

SNAP! BANG!

One of the "stairs" loses resistance an my foot plunges to the floor. The "stair" doesn't return to its natural position. I've broken it.

I sheepishly move away, making an effort not to catch the gaze of my fellow gym-goers. I'll have to tell the staff that the machine spontaneously rejected me.

With less confidence, I move to the bike machine. Bikes are cool, I use to ride one. In fact, there's one chained up in my building that belongs to me but that I've never unchained since I moved to Calgary.

I sit on the bike with my feet in the little pedal booties. I push the buttons on the display... it doesn't turn on. I look around the body of the bike... no button to turn things on. I start looking for anything that might resemble a switch... nothing!

I'm starting to panic. People are looking a me. Already fatty has broken the stairmaster and now we can't even turn on the bike machine. I'm flushed. Oh, god, I hate the gym. What do I do now? Help me! Help me!

So, as cool as I can be, I step off the bike and walk over to the treadmill. That has an on/start button and it won't fool me.

I did get some sort of workout that day... I just wish I'd realized that the bike machine "turns on" when you pedal it. Same with the elliptical... I like that one... it's fun.

Day Three: Beginner's Boot Camp

I have this weird romantic idea about enforced physical activity. Military boot camp, hard labour, working the rigs, gardening...

There's something about being required to do use your body that seems appealing. I think of it as "I wouldn't get a workout any other way" and "I bet my body could handle being pushed like that".

So, when I saw that my gym pass could get me into Beginner's Boot Camp at the gym on Sundays, I jumped at it. Bring it on!

I jumped out of bed at 7am, told Natalie I'll see her in time for breakfast, dressed in my khaki shorts and skip down crack alley to the gym.

I arrived in the gymnasium to find myself the youngest person there by 20 years or so. Furthermore, I was the only person who didn't know everyone else. No problem. I was pumped and ready to show these old folks how a young punk can endure Beginner's Boot Camp!

Our instructor/drill sergeant for the morning was the game girl who was our lifeguard at aquasize. I hoped she didn't remember me.

"Alright everyone. I hope you're stretched. Let's warm up with a 1 km run outside."

Pardon? I stifled my surprise. I mean, it was boot camp and I should expect a bit of running, even if I've never done a 1km run before. To be honest, I was a little more worried about getting my new indoor runners dirty. But, it's not like I could change into my outdoor loafers for a run.

I soon found myself at the back to the pack trying to pace myself and thinking about the consequences of just running home. Before I could make a decision on skipping boot camp, a nice man about my father's age slowed down in the pack to run beside me.

"First time at boot camp?"

Oh god, you're kidding me?! I can't talk. Once I start talking, I'll start choking as I try to figure out how to take heaving breaths while forming coherent phrases.

"Yeah..."

"Well, it's a lot of fun. Most of us have been coming to this for a few years. We always notice a new face. My name's Jerry." I picked that name since I recently watched some Seinfeld... like I'm going to remember this guy's name... I'm trying to run here.

"uh huh"

And he continued on and I continued grunting responses. I may have even said something about working an office job and not wanting to be called Fatty by my coworkers. Either way, I made it to the end of the run and to the gym with the emotional support of Jerry. In fact, I was feeling pretty good about myself at this time. I was surviving Beginner's Boot Camp (at least, the warmup anyway). I was the man!

Upon our return to the gymnasium, we found that the instructor had set up stations around the floor. We needed to break off into pairs and start making our way from station to station to in timed intervals. Fortunately, Jerry took pity on me and left his friends to be my partner.

Each station involved something like jump rope or medicine ball tossing or stairs or sit ups. There was a fair amount of variety and with dance music playing, I was feeling pretty optimistic. I wasn't about to let these senior citizens show me up. I was going to survive Beginner's Boot Camp, dang it! And I was going to benefit from it!

So, I matched Jerry's (and everyone else's) pace and began Beginner's Boot Camp proper.

And one round in, I started to feel a little weird. But, I can handle a little weird so I push through it. I start to feel a little tired, but I push through it. My legs aren't responding as well as they should, but I push through it.

I am a machine! I have used my mind to best my body! I have become one with Beginner's Boot Camp!

"Hey kid, are you ok?" Jerry's looking at me funny. I go to answer, but my lips feel kinda tired.

"Imau mah... sit down."

And just like that, Jerry and the instructor are on either side of me, propping me up as they move me to sit against the gym wall. The colour in my face has drained and my legs are jelly. The instructor seems a little worried.

"Did you have something to eat before you came?" No... don't be silly.

"How about to drink?" I'm not about to give myself a cramp, now. Jeeze.

And then the whole class stopped as my eyes rolled up into my head and I passed out.

I wasn't out for long... maybe just a couple of seconds, but it was enough to get my body back on track. Jerry suggested I go and drink a Gatorade or something. I said it might just be best if I went home and rested. The instructor agreed. Jerry said I should really come back and try it again.

"It's a good group. You'd have fun."

I think I lied to him as I left and never returned to Beginner's Boot Camp again.

---

I don't think I got my money's worth out of that month pass to the gym. But I still do go... I've just learned how to work the machines and I've dulled my romantic notion of enforced physical activity.

And I'm still working on not being called Fatty at work.

Presents rant

This one has been simmering since December. Now that I'm incapacitated with sickness at home, I might as well let it all out. It might be cathartic...

Since I was young(er), I've had a growing hate-on for holidays that are linked to gift giving. Birthdays, Christmas, Valentines, etc, etc. This is mostly linked to the obligation one feels to give presents to others--as opposed to the genuine desire to give someone you care about a gift.

In the obligation scenario, you MUST give ANYTHING to someone do demonstrate that you don't dislike them. This often leads to pre-holiday panic as you search for something to get them and end up grabbing something random that they may like/hate, wrapping it up and then acting like you really had them in mind when you picked it up. What does this lead to?

Waste: your money, they forget about it/chuck it/re-gift it.
Tension: "Gee thanks... you shouldn't have."
Continued obligation: "Guess we should do this again this year"

And the cycle continues. I haven't even touched on the gift obligation you may feel when someone gives you something at Christmas when you had no intention of getting them anything:

"Oh yeah, wow, thanks... yours isn't here yet... but it'll be awesome... you'll love it..." Sweet Jeebuz.

But, I don't hate gift giving all together. I just argue that it should be natural and not restricted to any specific time of year. You see something someone you like would appreciate and you get it. Sure, you can wait until a special occasion to give it to them... or why not give it to them right now? Wouldn't that be awesome! Plus, there's no sense of reciprocity obligation because there isn't some social convention like Christmas bearing down on you with the whole give/receive dichotomy. It gets me excited just thinking about it.

Of course, it's easier said than done. Fortunately, Natalie and I are on the same page when it comes to the whole Valentine's Day sham, but it's a delicate process telling friends and family that Santa isn't coming this year. We have cut down on the gift giving in my family by instituting a gift exchange for Christmas. And we're doing more "sure, how about I get this for you now and we don't have to worry about a birthday present." I love it!

Example: Arone had my name for Christmas this year and for a low cost-high value gift specially tailored to me, he nabbed an original Knights of the Old Republic movie/game poster signed by Executive Producer Greg Zeschuk, Producer Casey Hudson, Art Director Derek Watts, and Senior Writer Drew Karpyshyn. For my birthday, mom and dad paid to have it mounted.

And now it has become a main feature of our green room. Behold!


OK, I admit, this present and that rant aren't that closely related... but, I do want to summarize that I'm against giving just because you feel obligated. Give someone a gift because you know they'd love it... and it doesn't have to be an object. It can be as inexpensive as a signature from they guy down the hall or as intangible as a donation to the food bank. So, if you don't give me a present at a designated period, I really don't mind... but I also don't mind receiving something at random because you thought I'd like it. And don't worry, I won't feel obligated to get you something back.

Rant off... I feel kinda faint... I should lie down.

Overheard in the living room...

Baby, could you could you upgrade me to tungsten? We're going to be fighting geth.

Ah, a full day of Mass Effect in our household.

With love from me to you

This is quickly becoming a Valentine's Day tradition (see here and here).

To my love, to my everything, to my best friend... may our special day be filled with memories.


It's never too soon.

You know what I hate?

I really can't stand it when people make a meaningless blog post in some sort of effort to indicate they haven't given up on the whole blogging thing.

Face it: you have given up. You've stopped trying and for some reason you, even though you have stories to tell and points to be made (many of them moderately humourous) you've decided to not share them with your blogging audience.

For two-plus years you worked your way up to a point where nearly tens of people read the blog. Now, because you're too lazy, you've thrown that all away. And for what? Extra achievement points on Star Wars Lego? Reading the Mass Effect prequel novel? Going to a party with real friends?

Pathetic.

You should be ashamed of yourself. That's right, go pout. You can start again now, but who knows who'll read it?

Sigh.

Maybe it's time we tried again. Let's give it a fresh start. Once a week? Every time something new/funny/exciting happens? We'll see. We'll see...