"You should save this": Mac and Cheese Pizza

My brother and I have been known to appreciate food from time to time. And, for some reason, we were talking about the perfect carb-load that might just be oh-so-tasty: The Mac and Cheese Pizza. I'm not sure if this already exists, but we needed to discuss how best to make it. We still haven't produced it, but I wanted to share the conversation with you...

Daorcey says:
there was a discussion the other day about mac and cheese pizza. Can it be done?

QA Monkey says:
I suppose it could be done. The problem with putting it onto a pizza is that you need to worry about cooking time. Too long, and you overcook the pasta, making it a dry pizza. Too little, and you just have dough with mac and cheese on top.

The trick is in the toppings, and the cooking time.

For a tofu dog, it is much more simplified, because you are using it like a condiment.

Daorcey says:
ooo! it could be just like baked pasta, I bet... I'd suggest pre cooking the crust (half way), then putting on the mac and cheese, sprinkle on more cheese and then bake until melted.

OMG

QA Monkey says:
I would suggest an alfredo-based sauce for the pizza, as opposed to tomato. Tomato would be too overpowering, while alfredo is saucy and garlicy enough to provide a suitable lubricant.

However, you should still add fresh diced tomatoes, and possibly even some basil, to the final product.

For the break in the monotonous cheese flavour, and to make it really pop.

Daorcey says:
this will happen, I guarantee it.

QA Monkey says:
You should save this conversation for next time we come down, so we can remember these ideas.


Consider it saved.

Henry Hudson would be ashamed

We went back to Hudsons because it was finally time to use the food coupon we received the first time we were there. Hooray! It may be the last time we go there even though we still have another $20 off coupon.

Tuesday is East Coast night which means $4 Keiths (a miserable IPA) and 25 cent butterfly shrimp. We order 2 Keiths and 20 shrimp and put in an order for Cesar salad and a buffalo/cheddar/bacon burger.

The good: The butterfly shrimp are great. Crispy batter and the spicy chili dipping sauce is a good choice. Also, $4 for a bottle of Keiths is not a bad deal--even if it's a bad IPA. Normally I hate drinking IPAs because of the hoppy taste. But there is barely any in Keiths, so good beer for me, terrible beer for IPA lovers.

The bad: Everything else.

It took a long time for our non-shrimp food to show up. Hudsons was full but not crazy busy so I'm not sure why the delay. Perhaps they're still working out the kinks in the system? Daorcey's salad was meh but he had little choice on the menu (it was either that, nachos or fish and chips). My burger? Remember how excited I was in the previous post that they had buffalo burgers in addition to the beef? My buffalo burger patty was as tasteless as making Hitler jokes while visiting Aushwitz. There was no flavour in the patty and the bacon was so-so. How can a restaurant mess up bacon?

We're probably not going back, unless it's for $20 worth of butterfly shrimp on Tuesday.

Release the Kraken!

My father shared some important things with me growing up: learning how to deal with fractions, several concepts in physics, and the sheer goodness of schlocky movies. I come from a family where we have fond memories of Wrath of Khan, the entire series of the Planet of the Apes movies (we've seen them all), and Clash of the Titans.

I can't really remember the story of the original Clash of the Titans. I know of the important set pieces like the Medusa fight and the whole solve-a-riddle-to-win-the-hand-of-the-princess scenario. The plot is jumbled up in my mind, but I imagine a lot of our favourite childhood memories are like that. We only remember snatches of good things. Anyways, I was fond of the Ray Harryhausen effects (staccato skeletons and that creepy Medusa) and the fact the movie has the immortal line "Release the Kraken!"

So it was with great nostalgia that my sister, Daorcey and I headed to the theatres to see the remake of the movie. Daorcey hadn't seen the original--a shocking knowledge gap--while my sister was young enough to remember the movie but not the finer details.

The movie isn't bad, but not bad enough to become a cult classic. Neither is it good enough to pass as superior action movie. Sam Worthington, an actor who is bland enough to be in two other recent blockbusters (Avatar and Terminator 4), is passable as Perseus. (For some reason, he seems to be doing a weak Jason Statham impression for this film.) It's the others around him that are much better.

There's the guy who played the villian in Casino Royale (Mads Mikkelsen) and, unfortunately, he's much more interesting than Worthington. There's the guy who looks like Bill Bailey, and has a faint copy of his humour, that provides all the decent comic relief. Finally, Liam Neeson steps into Sir Laurence Olivier's shoes as Zeus. Neeson gets to wear a shiny suit of armour (no togas here) and gets to say THE LINE. He does it well and matches my memories enough that my sister and I chuckle out of fond remembrance.

This remake wasn't a Episode I atrocity--although I suspect there won't be another movie in my lifetime that achieves that level of awful... unless they make either a She-Ra or Jem movie (for which I would be first in line to see even though I know it'll be aweful). But, the movie was just good enough to convince me that the original is a movie worth showing to Daorcey. If only for the opportunity to giggle at Olivier slumming it and yelling "Release the Kraken!"

Hudsons, a bar full of Canadian kitsch

We just enjoyed a pint or two at Hudsons, former home of Husky House and Gerry's. First, let's have a moment of silence for that location. Some of us have fond memories of that place, others... well I don't want to dwell on it.

Now, there's a brand new wooden bar at the corner of 5 St and 12 Ave--you can still smell the saw dust in the air. Hudsons is an Edmonton institution. Or at least, that's the only city I've ever seen a Hudsons. It's a generic bar/club that has kitsch on the walls. It tries to replicate the feeling of pubs in the UK. Pubs that have seen a few decades and as a result have collected a load of crap to display.

However, those bars in the UK have history on their side. One of our favourite pubs that we discovered in London was a bar that Christopher Wren built for his employees. It was just after the fire in 1666 and the workers were rebuilding St. James but thanks to the fire there was nowhere to drink. Wren, the smart man that he was, built a bar to keep his employees happy. Flash forward to today where patrons can drink at the very same bar a stonemason wetted his whistle after a hard day's work.

So back to Hudsons. Obviously, no history so it'll have to rely on other features to sell it. I have to say, if you want to watch an important sporting event, my choice will be Hudsons. There are many screens there. I think half the lighting was from the glow of the LCD screens. Also, the burger menu features a choice of bison or beef. Awesome. Sorry, vegetarians, there isn't much on the menu for you.

The last interesting feature is the crap on the walls. Most bars in Calgary go for the faux Irish feel. So you'll see farm equipment, milk jugs, and other Irish-y things on the wall. I'm sure it's "similar" to the real pubs in Ireland. In Hudsons, you've got Canadian stuff on the walls. Mostly pictures, like Terry Fox, guys working on the rigs, hockey, moose, etc. But some lobster traps and snowshoes too. So I get they're going for a Canada aesthetic but the bar feels like it was a generic bar that could have gone Irish or Canadian had it been filled with different stuff.

The beer selection is alright. They do have two house beers that are brewed by Big Rock. We had the Beaver Tail Ale that was basically a watered down version of Big Rock's Traditional Ale.

We didn't try the food but thanks to some $20 coupons, I'm sure that will be in our future. But I don't think this will be our new watering spot. It just feels generic, even with its interesting Canadian knick knacks.

Getting to know the neighbour

We've lived in our condo for nearly three years. And, despite being in a building of 41 suites, we rarely hear our neighbours. I attribute this to both the concrete construction and that we share our half of the floor with only one neighbour (they're across the hallway). We don't hear conversations, TV, or parties. And no one has ever told us to turn down the Rock Band or that Natalie needs to stop swearing at her Halo squad mates. Yup, it's been pretty nice and quiet.

Until the other night.

Let me set the scene for you: It's 3 am on a Tuesday morning. We're sleeping with dreams of sugar plums, Assassin's Creed, and whatnot. And then, suddenly: laughing.

And not just far away laughing, but laughing like it's right there in the next room. The laughter of people sharing a somewhat tense moment leavened by alcohol and fatigue. Laughter that may not be genuine, but does the trick nonetheless. And then it stops.

"I just don't think you appreciate me..."

"Sure I do, baby. I..."

And I'm riveted.

I mean, I've NEVER heard my neighbours before, yet somehow I'm hearing conversations. Sure, I'm not hearing full conversations, but I can clearly make out key words and phrases and that's fascinating. Drama that I didn't know could be shared with me is about to occur!

After a while the conversation starts to disappear. All I can get now is a sense of tone. An argument seems to be happening. She seems upset. He seems frustrated with her somehow. And, after a few more minutes of this, I'm actually rethinking the excitement of my new discovery of being able to hear this particular neighbour. The fascination wains as the conversation disappears and I start to drift back to sleep.

And that's when things started to get coital.

I'm back to being wide awake. Not because I'm interested in the "dialogue", but because this girl is really loud. She's totally rocking the airwaves and he's doing his best to keep up.

Fortunately, after five to ten minutes, the two-person party concluded. But, of course, I'm wide awake again.

You try drifting back to sleep after two people aggressively get it on right next door. It's not easy. And sleep was made even more difficult as the conversation started back up again.

"...the look on his face when..."

"Hehe! you know I always loved..."

The laughter is back. It sounds more fluid. Drunker maybe? Endorphins likely.

And then the sex again.

We're pushing into 4 am as she moves into her second crescendo of the evening. I'm starting to realize that I've been up for one hour because of these two, and I'm beginning to get a little bitter about the situation. Not so much because I'm being kept awake, but more because I'm being kept awake by someone else's sex which is decidedly less interesting than a dramatic conversation.

They finish for a second time.

This time around, the conversation seems less congenial. He seems agitated about something and she's giving off a similar vibe.

"I bet you couldn't..."

"Whatever. I'm really busy.... back at the office..."

"Oh, come on... it's not that late..."

OK. Now I'm confused. It's getting to be, like, 4:30 am. What kind of guy is talking about the office at 4:30 am? What kind of girl thinks that 4:30 am isn't that late? When did I get so old and crotchety? How come I haven't heard these people before? Why am I not asleep?

"Look," he says very clearly, "the guys need me at the office. I should go."

"...but just a bit longer... come on..."

And then they did it, loudly and angrily, one last time. And this time around, no one seemed really happy about it. And while I'm really tired by now, the drama had been upped and I was hooked.

Now it's 4:45 am and the escapades of the neighbouring suite have come to a close. But the climax of the evening is just around the corner.

"Look, I really have to go... the office..."

"No... please... stay... if you don't..."

"What?"

He had asked the question. I had been straining to hear the original statement myself. What had she proposed? Was his question rhetorical or had he not heard her either? Maybe we were both having a hard time hearing her.

"So that's it then?" he asked. "We're breaking up?"

WHAT?! How could they be breaking up? They'd just spent the last two hours destroying my sleep pattern and now they were breaking up? To tell you the truth, I felt a little used.

"Fine. I have to go anyway... the office..."

"No don't... I didn't mean..."

"No, I have to go."

A door closes. Another door slams. And now I can hear the familiar soft rumble of the elevator being called to a higher floor. And he's gone.

"I'm SORRY. I'm sorry..."

And that's it. All I can hear now are her sobs. She repeats her apology to the wall, her pillow, and me. And then she cries. At first loudly and then softer as she falls asleep.

But I'm still wide awake. Shocked at the drama. Emotionally drained by the experience.

It was 5 am. I haven't heard her since and I hope I never connect a face to the voice.